We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
