"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
