somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
