He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
