Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
