He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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