Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
