he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
