But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
