I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
