Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
