he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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