Sponge bath it is.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
