Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Found the puke drawer
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
