my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
