First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
