Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
