just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
