I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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