Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
