She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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