Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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