I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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