i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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