on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
