sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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