Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Welp...herpes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
