how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
