u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
