To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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