Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
