This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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