i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
