Porn is love you can see.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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