dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
