i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
