their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
