yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
