you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
