after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
