I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
