I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
