things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
