if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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