due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
