Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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