the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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