there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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