I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
