i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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