i think my mom watched the whole time
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
