One girl and one boy is just not enough.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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