Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
