Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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